Beyond Words

Busy week. After the SOD worship night (kelangan tlaga ikwento lahat?)

Lets start at that day… I wasn’t able to finish my registration but then I decided to visit my brother for a Father’s day greeting unfortunately he wasn’t at home… just his 1 yr old daughter with her aunt. I played with his kid- her name was Apple... I almost forgot to prepare practically for the worship night. Haha. No songs or whatsoever. But I’m aware of it. I just did enjoy my time… to rest and play! What about that?

I love Apple and seeing her laugh with me, and play tricks, I’m relaxed. God spoke to my heart “this is what I long for, just to spend time with you. This is how I delight in you.”

I got so charged up to lead in worship. Oopps... I don’t have a guitar yet at that time but favor followed me… somebody’s lending me his guitar. Yey! We’ll I’m excited…

Coming on time an hour before our first centennial SOD worship night I immediately went to the prayer room… Sadly not any of my members was there. Like I’m alone? Anyway… two of my intercessor friends joined me inside and prayed for me... these people who simply believes in me and released me to who I am. I’m more than encouraged. I needed that! Thank God.

The worship went awesome… It’s just that my fingers were not used to the guitar… and my voice went breaking… still offering God everything. He’s my Dad after all! Whatever happened God. I just want more of You.

I wasn’t able to attend the weds and thurs dawn prayer meeting. I’m so broken inside and I was trying to get more of His attention… in my usual way of pressing in where I am… For greater power in worship...for deeper encounters with Him during our prayer meetings…In my heart I’m crying for worship revival… I want more of Him. There was not much supernatural that happened to me but I was just pouring out my heart to God as if I’m giving birth to a new season in worship. This is what I want Lord… I want more of You. It’s beyond words. Really.

Thursday night after the full-packed Purpose Driven Freshmen activity, I dated my music team.. some of them, I mean. It was a good time hearing about them, the things that they’re going through and all. I’m blessed to learn from them. I challenged everyone to be leaders in worship. Each one a model of intimacy and live a life of worship… with hearts just like David. They are such a humble people. God bless you guys.

Thursday 11pm-3am… back there in the prayer room. I just want more than this…. When can I be me and overflow??? Maybe at least to be myself and glorify God…?

Friday. I’m dead. Death to self, again. The whole day I messed up with my plans. For the nth time…

I was supposed to prepare for the worship for Wives encounter the rest of the afternoon but something happened… I stupidly fell asleep. And I woke up with a bad headache which in effect is a demanding good sleep for the rest of the night.

Friday night meeting. I honestly felt so tired.. but I wanted to push myself harder to stand and lead… God. What on earth is happening? It’s like I’m a bit lost over responsibilities and thoughts of inadequacy (again for the nth time). The reality of my little skill, and the reality that I’m simply the head of the music team in my appropriate inadequacy (to depend on God alone). I cry at the thought of wanting to bring my team into such a greater glory skill level and yet I myself am not much skilled. Stretch. We’ll talk to myself, I had much of it... so why not stretch more?? Will time allow? I want to impart all my life.. and more thoughts...

Just before the worship started… I just felt the Father embraced me. I went a little too emotional that I forgot to stand in my post. Haha. So I got a pretty rebuke from my leader.

Anyway, I won’t trade what I’ve experienced because with that embrace, God became my reality once again… I needed those hugs from my Father. But then I’ve also learned not to leave my post next time… :p

Leading the Wives Retreat last Saturday!! It was an awesome experience. This is something really new to me. Mothers are gentle, soft and concerned. It was such a blessing to lead moms into the presence of God. I’m so inspired to see them so hungry for God. I see my future in them. Hahaha.

Stormy Sunday. Pizza Treats. Encounter Preview. Written-in-paper-chat. Rest.

Monday healing. Weaned Child. First Centennial Cell meeting. Worship night. Some answered prayer.. for new things. God is my Dad after all.

I’m running out of time so I better impel to my point. Beyond Words.

For a talkative person like me, I would always tend to say what I feel, say everything, of course to people who are willing to listen. My passion for God and for worship is beyond words. I really want to see things happen in my life. More than telling, but doing.

I set myself on fire and people will just see me burn.

Something beyond words. Just like when we worship God, our passion goes beyond words. I’m praying deep prayers for a lot of stuffs… of course in worship. And beyond the words that I type in here…. I just want more of Him. If only the yearnings of my heart can be put into words or a song… Its so deep.

Deep calls unto deep.

He is worthy. Beyond Words.