I found myself jammed up for over a season.
That season ended…
And so this late bloomer was adeptly forced to move on and literally, moved out to a fast paced life she never have thought she’ll find herself into. Nevertheless, she finds herself in it now and comparatively now figuring out that she is able to adapt, not really totally, but at least, almost.
One early Sunday morning, awoken by these precious words… words that said that season of nothingness is finally over… and there were circumstances to affirm. Smiling skies were back, here and there. Songs. I know. I'm filled.
Although it has been a thousand years since I’ve left home, the door is always open to accept a humble child and to let a flicker of light bright shine once more.
Yet, I’ve learned to live in this nothingness everyday, just an absolute dependence to the One. And because I’ve been so dry, I’ve learned to treasure the rain, and this burning passion tells me that I can give my life to be on my knees, to sing and call forth a rain to come to a barren land.
Undeniably, I could feel that pang of pain, the dire hunger, and the cries of the people who might be somewhere or who might just be here, waiting. And it just so explodes in my heart to deeply capture the very heart of the One – to quench the thirsty, to feed the hungry, and to embrace the broken.
Where I am now, God, use me.
The Sweetest Melancholy
Hope. Joy. Dreams. Faith. Love. Passion.
Tomorrow’s gonna be the start of something new. I see it as a new page wherein things in my life open out in a new adventure. It’s going to be a chapter that will shape the most of who I will be in the next few years.
Having a job after passing the intensive interviews is all that happened today. And tomorrow, I am starting my so-called job, hoping that everything will work well - let grace, wisdom, passion and strength be with me everyday.
To tell you honestly, I’m not excited, thrilled nor even sympathetic about it coz it’s not something I have always looked forward to. I don’t feel blank or numb either. But I feel so melancholic and I think it all started last night, when I was browsing the letters, emails given to me by the most special person in my life – dad. I had to browse them because I need to get back to some projects during college and for most of them, I asked for his help.
In his every response, and comments about my projects are his notes to me. Even in those simple letters he cared so much like no one else ever did. He cared. He openly expresses his love, appreciation, and concern on everything about me. I wasn’t always a nice daughter, but he is always a good father. I always fail to believe in myself but he always do… and he makes me believe in myself. I can’t imagine what I could have become without his rebukes, confrontations, advices, and his incomparable countenance -just being himself, a father to me. Thank God, he gave me such a father, and for once in my life. I had these memories with the best dad in the whole world.
I was crying all night because of that, every time I remember him, I miss him so bad…it’s really deep and painful still. And yes, I walked to the office today with my swollen eyes, my make up couldn’t even hide it. Haha. Anyway, I always thought I wouldn’t be in a difficult situation like this if he is here. He always makes a move before situations get worse, he confronts and his advices are never late. Yeah, I am a person in need, so broken inside now. Ever since I marched up to get my dummy diploma, I didn’t actually know what’s gonna be next. It was as if during that day, all my dreams faded in an instant, and all of a sudden I was in a wilderness and lost. I was hungry, thirsty and so so dry. I always knew myself as a strong person, a fighter, but during those times, I didn’t know me… and I was literally alone. I felt too weak to fight for certain things, and too alone to do so.
So melancholic right? No one understands. No one even dared to come across the borders of my heart just like my dad always do. Not even the mentors I always looked up to, nor the people I love and I see every day. No one. Ok, so I have all the reasons to feel so alone. (but not lonely)
But last night when I was reading my dad’s letters, there’s one thing that caught my attention - JOY. It’s in my name right, haha. I haven’t seen it in my own name, but I felt it in those letters… mostly, I always felt it when he was with me. He was always joyful, so even in his letters it reflected. He’s not telling jokes, funny stories or whatsoever (that’s papansin :p ), you can feel his joy in every word, he was so proud of me, and rejoices over me. He is filled with joy with the kind life that he is living, even if it’s hard and requires a lot of sacrifices… and I remembered that joy is also something I always had when he was still alive. Yeah. Now I know that was the difference. Joy.
This might be the sweetest melancholy. After my realizations, I wanna have that joy once again. I desired to be happy. I desired to be free once again. I spend time with Dad, the one up there. I couldn’t ask him the questions “why” but I just basked myself on Who he is. I may not really hear… but I trust – in a deeper way.
Now joy is a choice and condition of the heart so that no matter what happens, deep in a heart that knows Who He is, joy remains. We can rejoice in trials, pain and suffering because of Who He is. He wipes the tears from all faces, He wiped my tears away and that is such a breathtaking touch from his hand. So without those tears, I would have not felt it. Now I know, why brokenness always attracts him. In brokenness, humility and surrender, He can make himself known in deeper ways. And with a deeper knowledge of Him joy becomes like an even more precious gem deep within us.
He restored joy in my heart, even if my eyes are still swollen, even if I’m realizing a lot of things –moving forward still, and even if things are not the way I used to imagine it to be. I have this joy in my heart. And with this joy, I dream once again. The inner atmosphere inside of me is almost ready to soar once again.
Changing directions in life is not a disaster, losing passion in life is. I hope everything will go well in the next 12 months, a lot of things will surely happen. I may not be an engineer or microchip programmer but I might be a better writer! In the entirety of it, may I never forget the place that completes my joy, and the One Who is my joy. I hope the blue guitar finds a space in my new room when I move out, I hope there will still be songs everyday - and fire me up with passion everyday.
I’m not stopping at this point anyway, I want to find the things that I really want to do, find the people who will make sense in my chaotic world, find the things I don’t get tired doing (worship ba ito?) hehe, find my pwerfect will? Not really in the list-but can be if he finds me LOL, find life, find where I fit in or the outside atmosphere that will bring about maturity and release that hidden destiny in me, find the thing that was taken away – my space where I can lead, learn and be myself once again.. and this time, great things will happen. GREATER THINGS!
Coz, no matter, how intricate were the paths we’ve taken, He always leads us HOME – WHERE GREATER THINGS HAPPEN! And I give Him thanks.
Tomorrow’s gonna be the start of something new. I see it as a new page wherein things in my life open out in a new adventure. It’s going to be a chapter that will shape the most of who I will be in the next few years.
Having a job after passing the intensive interviews is all that happened today. And tomorrow, I am starting my so-called job, hoping that everything will work well - let grace, wisdom, passion and strength be with me everyday.
To tell you honestly, I’m not excited, thrilled nor even sympathetic about it coz it’s not something I have always looked forward to. I don’t feel blank or numb either. But I feel so melancholic and I think it all started last night, when I was browsing the letters, emails given to me by the most special person in my life – dad. I had to browse them because I need to get back to some projects during college and for most of them, I asked for his help.
In his every response, and comments about my projects are his notes to me. Even in those simple letters he cared so much like no one else ever did. He cared. He openly expresses his love, appreciation, and concern on everything about me. I wasn’t always a nice daughter, but he is always a good father. I always fail to believe in myself but he always do… and he makes me believe in myself. I can’t imagine what I could have become without his rebukes, confrontations, advices, and his incomparable countenance -just being himself, a father to me. Thank God, he gave me such a father, and for once in my life. I had these memories with the best dad in the whole world.
I was crying all night because of that, every time I remember him, I miss him so bad…it’s really deep and painful still. And yes, I walked to the office today with my swollen eyes, my make up couldn’t even hide it. Haha. Anyway, I always thought I wouldn’t be in a difficult situation like this if he is here. He always makes a move before situations get worse, he confronts and his advices are never late. Yeah, I am a person in need, so broken inside now. Ever since I marched up to get my dummy diploma, I didn’t actually know what’s gonna be next. It was as if during that day, all my dreams faded in an instant, and all of a sudden I was in a wilderness and lost. I was hungry, thirsty and so so dry. I always knew myself as a strong person, a fighter, but during those times, I didn’t know me… and I was literally alone. I felt too weak to fight for certain things, and too alone to do so.
So melancholic right? No one understands. No one even dared to come across the borders of my heart just like my dad always do. Not even the mentors I always looked up to, nor the people I love and I see every day. No one. Ok, so I have all the reasons to feel so alone. (but not lonely)
But last night when I was reading my dad’s letters, there’s one thing that caught my attention - JOY. It’s in my name right, haha. I haven’t seen it in my own name, but I felt it in those letters… mostly, I always felt it when he was with me. He was always joyful, so even in his letters it reflected. He’s not telling jokes, funny stories or whatsoever (that’s papansin :p ), you can feel his joy in every word, he was so proud of me, and rejoices over me. He is filled with joy with the kind life that he is living, even if it’s hard and requires a lot of sacrifices… and I remembered that joy is also something I always had when he was still alive. Yeah. Now I know that was the difference. Joy.
This might be the sweetest melancholy. After my realizations, I wanna have that joy once again. I desired to be happy. I desired to be free once again. I spend time with Dad, the one up there. I couldn’t ask him the questions “why” but I just basked myself on Who he is. I may not really hear… but I trust – in a deeper way.
Now joy is a choice and condition of the heart so that no matter what happens, deep in a heart that knows Who He is, joy remains. We can rejoice in trials, pain and suffering because of Who He is. He wipes the tears from all faces, He wiped my tears away and that is such a breathtaking touch from his hand. So without those tears, I would have not felt it. Now I know, why brokenness always attracts him. In brokenness, humility and surrender, He can make himself known in deeper ways. And with a deeper knowledge of Him joy becomes like an even more precious gem deep within us.
He restored joy in my heart, even if my eyes are still swollen, even if I’m realizing a lot of things –moving forward still, and even if things are not the way I used to imagine it to be. I have this joy in my heart. And with this joy, I dream once again. The inner atmosphere inside of me is almost ready to soar once again.
Changing directions in life is not a disaster, losing passion in life is. I hope everything will go well in the next 12 months, a lot of things will surely happen. I may not be an engineer or microchip programmer but I might be a better writer! In the entirety of it, may I never forget the place that completes my joy, and the One Who is my joy. I hope the blue guitar finds a space in my new room when I move out, I hope there will still be songs everyday - and fire me up with passion everyday.
I’m not stopping at this point anyway, I want to find the things that I really want to do, find the people who will make sense in my chaotic world, find the things I don’t get tired doing (worship ba ito?) hehe, find my pwerfect will? Not really in the list-but can be if he finds me LOL, find life, find where I fit in or the outside atmosphere that will bring about maturity and release that hidden destiny in me, find the thing that was taken away – my space where I can lead, learn and be myself once again.. and this time, great things will happen. GREATER THINGS!
Coz, no matter, how intricate were the paths we’ve taken, He always leads us HOME – WHERE GREATER THINGS HAPPEN! And I give Him thanks.
You Are My Father
There are seasons when we feel so dry and empty… those times when God seems silent and distant just when we needed Him the most… when our dreams suddenly fade and things are just too painful to bear. Everything might not be working out like how we planned it but there are reasons we have yet to know. I believe that our worship is most precious when we choose to offer it to God during these times, because God can never resist a broken heart. Everything can change. Everything becomes possible.I was able to write a simple song the day before my birthday this year. I was in this sort of difficult season, fighting over battles here and there, but there’s this and deep, deep longing for God, I just needed Him. That night, I was soaked in tears but I chose rest my heart on the reality of WHO HE IS… and He is my Father. And I worship Him. In that moment of worship, this song came out... He moved my heart to trust and surrender… He moved me to love and dream once again.
You are my Father
Before even time began,
You formed me and you knew who I’d be.
Long before the earth was formed,
You chose me and you believed in me.
And before I came to know my name,
You loved me and called me Your own.
And I call You Father,
Father… Abba, Father
I’m Yours from the very start
You held me up and numbered my days.
Your love draws me to Your heart,
And followed me ‘till I’m found in You.
‘Coz before my world has came to be
You dreamed for me and breathed my life.
You are my Father,
Father… Abba, Father
And I found who I am in You
I wanna find me shining for You
I wanna find me soaring for You
You are my Father,
Father… Abba, Father
-
You are my Father © 2009
Lyrics and Music by Melody Joy Gamboa
(image credits: sequoiasanchini.blogspot.com)
Burning Ones
This song powerfully speaks to me this season. This is my heart that when we worship, we come to an intimate encounter to the fullness of His presence and we are left consumed, burning ablaze for Him.
Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire,
like a mighty flame.*1
This kind of love… This kind of worship… is when we truly encounter His love. That connection and intimacy in the spirit, is truly an awesome thing. But every encounter, every passion for God burning deep within us, is not just for ourselves, but for the broken, for the lost, for the hurting, for the needy… when we burn for God, we also burn with love for His children and His kingdom. When we burn with love for God, we can’t help but be who we are in Him… and we are surely meant to shine. *2
In His presence we are filled… then we overflow. But with continuous intimacy with the lord, and setting our lives apart, we are not just being filled with His presence every time, but we carry His presence wherever we go… this is how we burn for Him. And we fall in love, deeper every time.
Burning Ones
(Chris Quilala, Jesus Culture)
Here inside Your presence,
I’m taken by the wonder of You
Here inside Your glory,
we give our lives fully to You
And we cry Holy, Holy are You
We cry Holy, Holy are You
Your Love it burns inside,
Our hearts are satisfied by You
Your Love is all we want,
is why we ask for more of You
Holy, Holy are You
Our hearts are burning, burning for You
We are Your burning ones,
We are consumed by You
We set our lives apart,
We are consumed by You
So let this light be like a fire, Let our light be like a flame
Fill our souls with Your desire, Let our passion bring You fame
So let this love be like a fire, Let our lives be like a flame
Fill our souls with Your desire, Let our passion bring You fame
*1 Matthew 5:16 (NIV)
*2 Song of Solomon 8:6 (NIV)
Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire,
like a mighty flame.*1
This kind of love… This kind of worship… is when we truly encounter His love. That connection and intimacy in the spirit, is truly an awesome thing. But every encounter, every passion for God burning deep within us, is not just for ourselves, but for the broken, for the lost, for the hurting, for the needy… when we burn for God, we also burn with love for His children and His kingdom. When we burn with love for God, we can’t help but be who we are in Him… and we are surely meant to shine. *2
In His presence we are filled… then we overflow. But with continuous intimacy with the lord, and setting our lives apart, we are not just being filled with His presence every time, but we carry His presence wherever we go… this is how we burn for Him. And we fall in love, deeper every time.
Burning Ones
(Chris Quilala, Jesus Culture)
Here inside Your presence,
I’m taken by the wonder of You
Here inside Your glory,
we give our lives fully to You
And we cry Holy, Holy are You
We cry Holy, Holy are You
Your Love it burns inside,
Our hearts are satisfied by You
Your Love is all we want,
is why we ask for more of You
Holy, Holy are You
Our hearts are burning, burning for You
We are Your burning ones,
We are consumed by You
We set our lives apart,
We are consumed by You
So let this light be like a fire, Let our light be like a flame
Fill our souls with Your desire, Let our passion bring You fame
So let this love be like a fire, Let our lives be like a flame
Fill our souls with Your desire, Let our passion bring You fame
*1 Matthew 5:16 (NIV)
*2 Song of Solomon 8:6 (NIV)
steadfast heart
My heart is steadfast, O God,
my heart is steadfast;
I will sing and make music.
Awake, my soul!
Awake, harp and lyre!
I will awaken the dawn.
Psalm 57:7-8:
A super duper happy childlike- go-na-go, on-her-knees, right on-taking things higher and that burning passion once embedded deep in my soul. That picture of a girl I’ve known before and those memories agitates my passive soul, triggers tears and something in me just wants to break out! If His passion was all my song and I’ve been that no-one-can-stop-me so fired-up person for Him, I knew that I’ll always be because no one can take that away from me.
So i remain steadfast knowing that Dad’s promises will surely come to pass. His hand is holding me. He will never let me go. And once that new day will come, I will embrace it with all my heart – my heart will surely thrive in that milieu where everything, everyone is an expression of His love and favor over my life. From His arms to that place, I so long for.... awaken the dawn with songs of praise.. and i remain steadfast.
my heart is steadfast;
I will sing and make music.
Awake, my soul!
Awake, harp and lyre!
I will awaken the dawn.
Psalm 57:7-8:
A super duper happy childlike- go-na-go, on-her-knees, right on-taking things higher and that burning passion once embedded deep in my soul. That picture of a girl I’ve known before and those memories agitates my passive soul, triggers tears and something in me just wants to break out! If His passion was all my song and I’ve been that no-one-can-stop-me so fired-up person for Him, I knew that I’ll always be because no one can take that away from me.
So i remain steadfast knowing that Dad’s promises will surely come to pass. His hand is holding me. He will never let me go. And once that new day will come, I will embrace it with all my heart – my heart will surely thrive in that milieu where everything, everyone is an expression of His love and favor over my life. From His arms to that place, I so long for.... awaken the dawn with songs of praise.. and i remain steadfast.
It will be worth the wait
It maybe that this season have been demanding for answers I was so afraid to figure out. So, in my heart of hearts, i yearned and hoped to hear the answers, every fear seemed to melt away at the point of surrender, but i heard no voice to lead me – the most painful thing... not being able to hear just when i needed that the most- to hear, to see things.. to know.. to move on.
I continued to ask, but it always failed me, as if i was really being led into some kind of wilderness. This was something, i never wanted to go through because i always wanted to keep going... i had plans of taking things to the next level... that was good, right? But nothing was happening... and it breaks my heart for not being there, yeah, for not being there.....and knowing nothing... even what to do. Another point of surrender.
On my way home(after coffee, movie and all.. miss u mari!) today.. I found a greater hope when God said, it will be worth the wait.. though it was not the answer i wanted to hear.. it struck my heart so much.
It wasn’t easy, of course especially for an out-going person like me. To wait, to be in a wilderness is a very difficult thing, at this point i knew that this is the time to for me to learn.. to wait (Isa 40:31). The weirdest thing 'coz it seems like people are not even waiting. Once, I tried to force myself to do some outputs, but i never succeeded, instead, i just became weaker all the more... and breaking my heart even more. i was“forced” to wait. Just wait!
Even more, I'm learning to be inspired seeing more eagles fly... dreams in my heart finds hope just seeing how the grace of God works through them.
I'm learning to wait.. to rest.. to let God. There is acceleration, but the process remains and whew! I'm in it!
Learning that sometimes, God leads us into wilderness in order to take us deeper, this season is a treasure... it not only prepares us.. looking deep down in our hearts, we are being changed... our passion is not only restored, but are being conformed to His passions.
This is surrender. Again and again, God always brings us to this point of surrender, of just letting go and letting Him do it. Out of this brokenness in our heart, His spirit is on the move. New desires are being birthed out, a deeper hunger is being cultivated, a greater vision is being carved deep in our hearts.. we are changed from glory to glory.. to be more like our Father. And so I wait...not only so i could do the right thing, but so i could capture His very heart even more.... and walk towards His destiny for my life.
And it will be worth the wait, knowing that His love surpasses our deepest desires and His being surpasses our identity. So i trust in His ways –His wisdom, strength, and power.
Right now, with or without these inexplicable answers, one thing’s for sure my heart is fixed – to praise God! to offer Him my sacrifice of praise.. of sweet surrender.
I set Him before me (Psalm 16:7-8,11) and let Him stir up in my heart, a deeper hunger for MORE. I’m realizing something right now.. I’m drawn closer to HIM like never before and I just don’t want to let go.
This is a divine romance.. let us enjoy, not endure. T.T.. His presence is given to us without measure, so i stay in that place of delight where all is beautiful - even just gazing at my LOVER.
All creation waits. That one day will come.
I continued to ask, but it always failed me, as if i was really being led into some kind of wilderness. This was something, i never wanted to go through because i always wanted to keep going... i had plans of taking things to the next level... that was good, right? But nothing was happening... and it breaks my heart for not being there, yeah, for not being there.....and knowing nothing... even what to do. Another point of surrender.
On my way home(after coffee, movie and all.. miss u mari!) today.. I found a greater hope when God said, it will be worth the wait.. though it was not the answer i wanted to hear.. it struck my heart so much.
It wasn’t easy, of course especially for an out-going person like me. To wait, to be in a wilderness is a very difficult thing, at this point i knew that this is the time to for me to learn.. to wait (Isa 40:31). The weirdest thing 'coz it seems like people are not even waiting. Once, I tried to force myself to do some outputs, but i never succeeded, instead, i just became weaker all the more... and breaking my heart even more. i was“forced” to wait. Just wait!
Even more, I'm learning to be inspired seeing more eagles fly... dreams in my heart finds hope just seeing how the grace of God works through them.
I'm learning to wait.. to rest.. to let God. There is acceleration, but the process remains and whew! I'm in it!
Learning that sometimes, God leads us into wilderness in order to take us deeper, this season is a treasure... it not only prepares us.. looking deep down in our hearts, we are being changed... our passion is not only restored, but are being conformed to His passions.
This is surrender. Again and again, God always brings us to this point of surrender, of just letting go and letting Him do it. Out of this brokenness in our heart, His spirit is on the move. New desires are being birthed out, a deeper hunger is being cultivated, a greater vision is being carved deep in our hearts.. we are changed from glory to glory.. to be more like our Father. And so I wait...not only so i could do the right thing, but so i could capture His very heart even more.... and walk towards His destiny for my life.
And it will be worth the wait, knowing that His love surpasses our deepest desires and His being surpasses our identity. So i trust in His ways –His wisdom, strength, and power.
Right now, with or without these inexplicable answers, one thing’s for sure my heart is fixed – to praise God! to offer Him my sacrifice of praise.. of sweet surrender.
I set Him before me (Psalm 16:7-8,11) and let Him stir up in my heart, a deeper hunger for MORE. I’m realizing something right now.. I’m drawn closer to HIM like never before and I just don’t want to let go.
This is a divine romance.. let us enjoy, not endure. T.T.. His presence is given to us without measure, so i stay in that place of delight where all is beautiful - even just gazing at my LOVER.
All creation waits. That one day will come.
A happy ending
I heard my name loud and clear while a familiar march sound was running on the background, it was a chilly afternoon of a supposed to be celebration. After I got my diploma (dummy, yes) on stage, I marched down the red carpet under a big umbrella, then, under the cloudy sky… while names are still being called out, I see happy faces, happy shouts as I walk and something just dawned to me as if the whole heaven is making me realize something deep. “Is this it?” “Was it all finished?” And honestly I feel pangs pain and some regrets like “it must have been better if I…” but I couldn’t do anything anymore.
Then a shift. That was it! My five years is done! I just made it! I made it! Graduate na ako! Bwahahaha…
I just graduated! wohoooo!!!
It was not supposed to be melancholic anyway. My shoes were full of mud because of the rain and my hair was quite damp. But the supernatural sounds make it… No, I heard it in my heart, my dad is so proud of me, and I just wished he was there. He has always been my inspiration. Then I was reminded of the grace that has carried me all along. All of my questions about “what’s next” seemed to have faded in this instant and my heart was filled with thanksgiving. Thank God. It was all because of you, God. So there, I was jumping and crying at the same time, oh! with my toga, like crazy. Lol. Well, jumping with the rest of the happy graduates.
That was how happy I was! Hahaha
Happier to be a part of the UPLB centennial graduate. Who would have thought that a happy go lucky little me would obtain a degree in Applied Physics? Neither did I. But God was just so faithful. I remember the many times I wanted to give up, the thousand times I cried over mathematical equations I couldn’t understand and debugging programs, and the many times I just skipped my classes just because I was so tired and sleepless doing my assignments. I remember those moments of rushing here and there, fighting for my thesis (haha). And moments when I just gave in to my laziness that I so regret, moments when my frail love stories converge with my intellectual weakness. And the heck! I made it through all the stormy days! God is so good! Semiconductors, Polymers, Nanotechnology, Robotics, Legendre Polynomials.. hmm.. Sounds so familiar.. hahaha. I can’t explain how I feel right then, but I’m just so happy!
Yep. It was a happy ending of my being a college student. Treasured. Cherished. I just wish those moments’s bliss wasn’t so fleeting at all.
Then a shift. That was it! My five years is done! I just made it! I made it! Graduate na ako! Bwahahaha…
I just graduated! wohoooo!!!
It was not supposed to be melancholic anyway. My shoes were full of mud because of the rain and my hair was quite damp. But the supernatural sounds make it… No, I heard it in my heart, my dad is so proud of me, and I just wished he was there. He has always been my inspiration. Then I was reminded of the grace that has carried me all along. All of my questions about “what’s next” seemed to have faded in this instant and my heart was filled with thanksgiving. Thank God. It was all because of you, God. So there, I was jumping and crying at the same time, oh! with my toga, like crazy. Lol. Well, jumping with the rest of the happy graduates.
That was how happy I was! Hahaha
Happier to be a part of the UPLB centennial graduate. Who would have thought that a happy go lucky little me would obtain a degree in Applied Physics? Neither did I. But God was just so faithful. I remember the many times I wanted to give up, the thousand times I cried over mathematical equations I couldn’t understand and debugging programs, and the many times I just skipped my classes just because I was so tired and sleepless doing my assignments. I remember those moments of rushing here and there, fighting for my thesis (haha). And moments when I just gave in to my laziness that I so regret, moments when my frail love stories converge with my intellectual weakness. And the heck! I made it through all the stormy days! God is so good! Semiconductors, Polymers, Nanotechnology, Robotics, Legendre Polynomials.. hmm.. Sounds so familiar.. hahaha. I can’t explain how I feel right then, but I’m just so happy!
Yep. It was a happy ending of my being a college student. Treasured. Cherished. I just wish those moments’s bliss wasn’t so fleeting at all.
