Rain on Cloudless Skies

My heart is so restless. It is undeniably uncomfortable. Being here in the process of change and being re-aligned to be in the right place… ‘till everything falls into place and to watch every bit of dust settling down really mean a big deal of patience to remain this - uncomfortable. Seriously, it's a bit odd and uncomfortable… unexplainable.

Sometimes I still have this feeling that I’m lost. That is was just so suddenly, I was thrown into a sea of unfamiliar people, a different environment, and I don’t know where else to go. I do love to explore, but I need to know where to go so that finding my paths would be thrilling and exciting enough, rather than frightening. And of course, I need support. People who will push me and guide me. Help.

And I oftentimes feel lonely. That it’s just so painful to accept that, unlike in the past, I feel like nobody is looking after me or even just watching me from afar. God, I know you’re there, but you know what I mean. I do love adventures, but not these lonely ones.

If you ask me what usually makes me cry? It’s not my being lost or lonely, nor over things that were taken away.

I cry because even if I’m under a cloudless sky, I can feel an abundant love showering over my life. And it makes my heart is just aching for more of the presence of God. Because when He comes it will all make the difference… and the significance. I cry because He always remind me of who I am. And he replaces every tear with unreasonable blessings. He doesn't let me go.. and I know He will make a way.

I keep fighting. I keep fighting. Because I know He won’t give up on me.

And the world holds its breath for me… because I am embracing, the one thing that God has placed in my heart. No matter what.

And as I live it out today, I just know that there's gonna be rain on this cloudless sky. This season is a season of grace. I may not understand, but I allow God to work.